Writing Your Own Eulogy – A Personal Story from an Oxfordshire Funeral Celebrant

As a funeral celebrant in Oxfordshire, one of the most meaningful and unexpected aspects of my work is spending time with people who want to plan their own funeral—and, most importantly, tell their story in their own words.

Across Abingdon and the wider Oxfordshire area, more people are choosing to do this because they care deeply about how their lives are remembered.

Brian was one of those people.

“I am a scientist, and I want my story to be truthful and accurate.”

I was first contacted by Beth, Brian’s daughter, who was looking for a funeral celebrant in Abingdon to help her father write his eulogy while he was still alive. I arrived on a beautiful spring morning. The house looked out onto a garden full of bulbs in bloom, and inside I met Brian—96 years young, warm, sharp, and with a wonderful sense of humour.

When I asked if I might sit next to him, he paused, looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, and said no… before breaking into a smile and saying, “Yes, of course you can.”

Brian told me he had recently attended the funeral of a lifelong colleague. What struck him most was that the eulogy didn’t reflect the man he knew at all.

“It was a lot of twaddle,” he said plainly.

Then he added, with quiet clarity:“I am a scientist, and I want my story to be truthful and accurate.”

A Life Measured in Love, Not Just Achievement

Although Brian had enjoyed a distinguished career and was internationally recognised in his field, that wasn’t what mattered most to him.

He had made a few notes about key moments in his life, but what he truly wanted to talk about was his family—his adored wife, his children, and his grandchildren.

He spoke movingly about his wife, whom he had cared for during a long illness before she died ten years earlier. When I asked about how they met and what he loved about her, his whole face lit up.

Those were the moments that mattered.

Brian also shared his love of photography, showing me images he had taken over the years of mountain ranges across Europe during family holidays—both summer and winter scenes, each one carrying a story.

We spoke about sailing, the outdoors, and his garden—something he remained deeply proud of, even after he could no longer tend to it himself. A younger friend had taken on the role, and it continued to bring him joy.

Creating Space for Stories to Be Heard

I visited Brian three times, with no time pressure.

During one visit, his other daughter, Susan joined us, and together we talked about family life, childhood memories, and holidays. It was a privilege to sit with them, gently shaping the words that would tell their story.

Susan later told me that she had initially been unsure about the process. But after seeing how animated her father was—and hearing stories she had never known—she felt incredibly grateful.

For me, as an independent celebrant, that is one of the most rewarding parts of this work. These conversations don’t just create a meaningful ceremony later—they create connection now.

Planning the Details That Matter

Together, we also chose music and a reading. Brian selected a beautiful piece about gardens—something that reflected both his love of nature and the life he had cultivated.

He was clear about his wishes:

• What he would wear

• Where the wake should be held

• And that there should be a sit-down meal, with music—and cake

He knew people would be sad, of course. More than anything, he wanted his life to be celebrated. He wanted people to leave knowing he had loved deeply, lived fully, and considered himself a very lucky man.

“My dear, I googled you on my iPad”

As I left our final meeting, I thanked Brian for sharing his story with me and asked how he had found my services as a local Oxfordshire celebrant.

He hesitated slightly, smiled, and said, “My dear, I googled you on my iPad.”

We all had a chuckle.

What Brian Taught Me

Brian’s story is a powerful reminder that:

• The details that matter most are often the personal ones

• Families value hearing these stories far more than we might expect

• Taking the time to reflect and record your life can be a gift to those you love

And perhaps most importantly, your story is yours to tell.

Looking for a Funeral Celebrant in Oxfordshire or Abingdon?

Since meeting Brian, I’ve worked with many families across Abingdon, Oxfordshire and surrounding areas who have chosen to record their wishes and stories in advance, keeping them safe until the time comes.

If you’re looking for a funeral celebrant in Oxfordshire, or would like to explore writing your own eulogy, I would be honoured to help you create something truly personal and meaningful. Contact me on fiona@fionamaccelebrant.co.uk or call Mbl 07768 987040

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This story was originally written by Fiona Mac Celebrant for Legacy Share and was published on their website Monday, 20^th April 2026. Legacy Share is an organisation that is committed to “Making Important Conversations Easier”. It is their mission to create positive communication around what previously may have been perceived as uncomfortable conversations. They aim to improve our overall relationship with the end of life by giving us full control and empowerment of your Legacy. You can read the original version on their website https://www.legacyshare.co.uk/brian-s-story 

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