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How to support someone who has lost a child in their grief?

Last night, I joined a hushed audience to listen to No. 1 Sunday Times author Clare Mackintosh share her experiences of writing a book entitled “I promise it won't always hurt like this”. You could hear a pin drop.

This was a deeply personal book full of compassion, honest feelings and hope. Clare and her husband lost one of their twin sons Alex at 5 weeks old. A loss that defined her life and choices for the next 18 years.

Sarah, the owner of the local independent bookstore called Mostly Books, Abingdon, gently urged Clare to delve deeper into that period of her life. Clare responded with an authentic, often raw, and honest account of how she reconstructed her family life and career over the last 18 years.

Clare describes her current situation vividly:

“I grew around my grief, the way a tree grows around iron railings. I began to live again and began to thrive. I am not better, I’m in recovery, and there will always be days when I slip backwards”  Clare’s closing words “I promise you, as I walk side by side with you in your grief, that it will get better. It will not always hurt like this”.

Clare shared on the night “that loss is universal, the subsequent grief is unique to each of us”. A grief veteran, why did she write this book? Because she had lived experience and a bit of a way with words. She is right, beautifully written, with such honest accounts of how these powerful grief feelings dominated her life, this book provides that glimmer of hope, with each chapter providing a promise to the reader.

So, if you are struggling with the loss of a child now, in the past or indeed with any bereavement, take some time to read this exceptional book. You won't regret putting the time aside.

Clare Mackintosh is a former police officer and a multi-award-winning author. Translated into 40 languages, her books have sold more than 2 million copies worldwide and have been Sunday Times and international bestsellers.

To obtain your copy of “I promise it won't always hurt like this” contact Mostly Books @mostlybooks who will be happy to order a copy for you.

My thanks go to Clare, Sarah and John Grain from @childbereavementuk for such a thought-provoking evening. Child Bereavement UK

You can catch Clare at further dates

For more information contact the author

or call 07768 987040


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